Category: Family

Mom,

You’ve held me through it all so far.

From the very beginning when you were scared as your life was changing

And you were leaping into the great unknown with faith

In the timelessness of what all mothers naturally do.

You’ve held me through the car accident that mothers fear so much.

You’ve held me through fevers and earaches.

Through long inconsolable nights,

Tired with no sleep yourself and work in the morning.

Through trust in allowing sitters to keep me while you provided.

Through moves, yet keeping me grounded in one school and allowing me to build roots in one community.

Through the years of teachers helping groom me into an honorable student,

And you instilled my love of reading from an even younger age than that.

Through awkwardness in middle school,

And love and friends in high school and then suddenly- graduation events and excitement of flying away.

Through seeing me off to college and away from home for the first time on my own.

Through my first young pregnancy and my own uncertainty then.

Through my blue baby, you more scared than me as you saw it all unfold.

Through another bout of college and growing professional success.

Through my winter sunshine baby, healthy and together with mom for the first time of all three.

Through ups and downs with partnership and motherhood.

Through the times of paycheck to paycheck scarcity.

Through times of abundance and enoughness.

Through our trip to the jungle and the ocean where I had the joy of watching you face your fear and turning it into fun and memories to last forever.

Through times of contentment, resentment, and celebration.

Through times of unknowing and fear.

Through times of becoming and growing into wiser women together,

As we faced death and love and life in all its myriad of shapes

And shades of color.

Through painting this canvas of my life,

Yours the brushstrokes that make up the majority of the picture.

Through more to come together that we haven’t yet seen,

And beyond…..

A friend from the last chapter of my life calls to tell me of a new illness,

And it makes me wish I was there.

A friend from this chapter hugs me tight and tells me this isn’t her reality it’s someone else’s, learning of a new diagnosis for her partner.

And it makes me glad I happen to be right next door to help.

A friend who was fantasized to be something more at one time,

Pops up in a dream only to find that he has also been recently interpreting his own dreams.

This makes me remember why I admire his sensitivity inside his solidity.

An old friend who made me be hers by sheer persistence,

Turned into one of my dearest and deepest friends through so many chapters by now.

I hear the growth in our conversations and feel the struggles in our hearts

each time we talk, not afraid now to go further in bearing our souls.

Several states away now, a soul sister who shares my pining for living the fullest expression of life and not letting our lights be diminished as we grow older,

We keep the flame alive in our hearts by breathing fresh energy into one another’s spirits every time we talk.

My very oldest friend, the one who shared a lollipop with me on the sidewalk of cobblestoned streets when we were four,

Is the one that tethers me to those farthest memories of being little and innocent with perhaps only a few fears in the world.

We know that we know each other on a soul level that exists far beyond this lifetime,

That we have always been and will always be part of each other’s lives even if we don’t speak.

And those friends who very seldom expose their souls, but who remain strong as life gets harder.

There are even those friends who seem to be growing into the brightest version of themselves as they age finely, feeling freedom to express themselves more fully.

They each inspire me through their trials, triumphs, growth, and surrender.

I heard your voice the other day,

The sick version and the vibrant one.

These reminded me of your valiant fight to stay with us,

And your waning sun energy as you slipped into the forever night.

The Lakota song of healing that brought you peace in those times.

And I also remembered your thoughtful caring ways

That composed the fabric of who you were.

You built bridges with everyone you met, and for them too.

Bridges to one another and bridges always back to you.

This is who you really were, every day-

The essence of true beauty shared with us.

You taught us how to love one another without a second thought.

Your indelible impression of kindness and selflessness

Imprinted on our hearts forever.

Thank you, Ne.

On this, your special day, we celebrate your happiness together.

Yours is a love that shines bright and clear.

There is no question about the depth of your friendship,

Or the sincerity of your concern for one another.

Two young people with old souls,

Wise already in your compassion for each other

and your care for the world.

This understanding of something greater than either one of you alone,

Ready to transform and spread your knowing concentrically outward.

You are doing this already, and it can only expand from here.

We all feel it, the love you bring.

This is what thrills us and excites us,

This selfless genuine love that reminds us of what we all know is possible.

Blessings to you both on this day and on each step of the journey.

Thank you for allowing us to be part of your big heart love.

Your soft blonde curls

all around your less-toothed smile

grinning ear to tiny ear.

Proud of your artwork-

learning how to write your name-

on your leg in green marker.

Always in a tender embrace of any animal that stepped in your path.

Your heart shining through your sparkling eyes

with complete compassion and joy.

All the fun times that seem like a lifetime ago,

yet were really only yesterday in this life.

Now a teenager,

and coming full circle to that sweetness in your heart,

sharing it with others, so generous.

When you were little,

not a care in the world,

and it was written all over your face and your body.

As you danced to the beat of the drum that only you heard.

May you always be gentle in your heart, generous in your spirit,

and a little boy in your soul.