Me
When I read a passage of poetry
that breaks my heart open
in remembrance of the vessel
that connects us to Source.
Gratitude opens
this vessel
in awe and wonder
of the inexplicable mystery called Life.
The Source that weaves this web
with or without our blessing,
Until one day we look around and give gratitude for it all anyway.
That is when gratitude opens us
back up to the flow that ripples through all of it in every moment.
Waking, on edge, full of anxiety
Over what I’ve done and how much time is in the day.
I splash water on my face and the dreams that kept me at bay from this day
Fall away, receding into the unknown mind.
Stretching into places that at this hour unconsciously bring lifeblood to them,
Awakening mysterious channels of prana,
Gently probing my heart awake.
That elusive coil of energy that sometimes and now
Brings me suddenly to the earth.
To sit, to be, to still, to quiet the already crazy mind.
And in this falling away of ego pieces as they dissolve and melt,
I am left with me as Space.
I am left to face myself only as part of this Universe.
And in this feeling, this knowing,
This purity of surrender and letting go,
I realize there is no fear and there is no doubt.
This is how I’ve always been and always will be held.
Immense peace and comfort in suspending here,
In the arms of God that birthed me, bear me, and will deliver me again across all space and time forever.
The sun comes up beyond the gate,
Its light sifts through in fragments.
Can we remember that the sun will rise above us too?
At times, this arc may feel imperceptibly slow….
In those moments, can we see that the fractals playing through the gates
that we sometimes construct ourselves
Are just as beautiful as the full brilliance of the sun?
For they are shreds of the same source that warm us.
This light that fills the sky,
Ancient virgin who bears pure life into all the barren spaces.
Sun sparks of creativity and we remember our connection.
Sometimes the gate even opens and allows sun to flow in like a river,
Surging forth its illumination of inspiration,
Sometimes coming in waves of ebb and flow.
And then again, speckled like glitter that adorns our body,
Permeating skin to touch soul.
Sun sparkles spirit into animation
Of hope, love, connection, clarity, permanence, inspiration.
The gate is unlocked.
With root gem-
I release insecurity of scarcity.
With heart gem-
I tear down walls around my heart.
With throat gem-
I let go of creative blocks.
Releasing into Earth,
To neutralize and dissipate.
Thanking Earth and her rare beauty,
Her gems’ energies.
Thanking Moon for her luminescence in fullness,
Her powerful charge.
Thanking those who have mined these gems,
Even at their own lives’ peril.
Clearing, cleansing, allowing space inside me.
For nothing now, only breath.
Still pink dawn of morning,
Pale moon faint in sky becoming sleepy with day.
The whisperings of in-between hours
Melting thoughts away as dreams fade too.
The quietness of nothing,
Neither beaconing nor faltering.
Choosing now for itself
To pour brilliance over land
in slow spatterings of sunbeams
as they trickle to earth.
Soft dew recedes as moon calls each drop home again.
Exhaling her gift of dawn as sweet heartbreath,
Moon empties of self.
Feeling grounded and centered in practice,
From the roots of feet through the crown of head.
In toes and fingers as they touch earth, each one.
Feeling grounded and centered in core womanhood,
In earth stance, feet wide hips low tailbone drops.
Breath big expansion across shoulders back and front,
Heart opens proud yet soft.
Chins settles, relaxing neck sides and back.
Grounded enough to not be swayed by turbulent water winds of body,
Allowing all to flow together into center, steady melting.
Upright again as mountain from earth that always is through every change.
Calm, grounded center within, without.
From this place, live life embodied.
Woke up to ash covering everything the other day.
What did this mean for a new life here?
Am I flying too close to the sun, melting my wings, crashing and burning?
Or will I rise from the ashes like the phoenix in glory?
Today, we can breathe again, we can see again.
Lifted from the ashes, at least for now.
I realize the surrender inherent in this,
To be ok with waking up to whatever is.
Allowing the feelings of fear of the unknown, and hope and promise,
To swell and quell, ebb and flow.
All part of earth’s journey, of the human journey.
Experiencing the intertwining of it all this close,
To touch, see, smell, taste, and hear it all in real time.
Am I ready to be fully alive and human,
In all its smokiness, its ashiness, its fieriness, its power?
In all its clarity, its expansiveness, its creativity, its abundance?
Am I ready to surrender to the earth’s rhythms, to the beat of the fully alive human heart?
I sense that I am.
Standing on the precipice of the mountain,
Surveying the contours above, below, and within.
Touching, as I listen to my own heart as part of the whole rhythm,
A deeper sense of belonging and knowing.
Feeling closer to freedom even in the perils of jumping.
Of flying, of surrendering, of opening my wings even if they get burned.
From a place of deep knowing that I will always rise from the ashes,
No matter what form I may take next.
It sort of began with a friend who mentioned astrocartography over coffee one day. Did I know what it was? she asked. I had had my natal chart read by this wonderful witch in the far reaches of Maine, and I love maps, so could somewhat surmise what this may entail.
The search to be anywhere new had really started a long while prior to this question. Her inquiry, though, set me on a trajectory of finding the perfect place for me, narrowing my focus. Astro Liz from Maine recommended her astrologer to read my planet map.
I called Leo in Santa Fe and what do you know? All my lines, all my planetary measures of success and happiness, fall on the West coast of the US. Love, relationships, communication, career, creativity, expansion… all of them. Certainly, this explains why my heart has been drawn this way for over 20 years, since I knew it was a thing.
The obsessive research for his specific recommendation of a town ensued. Burying myself deep in the google searches of southern Oregon, I found our special spot checking more and more boxes of exactly what my soul had been craving. Culture, arts, excellent schools, nature right outside my door, walkability, opportunities, community. I began my travel nursing search for my next assignment only in this area. I quit a really good job with great pay and schedule and took the leap into throwing my entire life into complete disarray.
Now, this is one thing for a single human with no kids or pets or significant other. But for someone with all these wonderful and messy blessings, there are many obstacles and challenges to navigate along the way to making our fantasy a reality.
Without yet divulging all those things that are only pebbles in the road now looking back, I can only say that making our dreams come true is always worth it. No matter the struggles along the way, when something is ours… those all fall away easily, and the path is made smooth step by step. The next right action is always clear, and there are no regrets. Energy is only multiplied, never depleted… even when you are rearranging every single piece of life furniture. The muscles of the body and the mind are made stronger by the winds of the spirit blowing life back into the soul.
Trust me on this, take the next right step for you. Do not wait on your dreams. Life is happening now. Live it.
Countless lives affected by tragedy today, again.
The outrage, the anguish, the sorrow, the confusion.
Why? When will this end?
So much work to be done….
Where do we begin?
There are concrete suggestions for this, though.
Action being taken, more to be done.
Mental illness, guns, heartbreak.
Again.
It’s time to re-imagine a new reality,
Possibility that already exists in this time and space.
Let’s access this healing together.
Let’s envision our future as beautiful and whole now.
Holding fast to that vision until it becomes action and
Rippling vibrations of change made manifest.
It’s our time, our dharma, to create this now.
Stand together for mental healing
And spiritual wholeness.
Know that a safe, joyous future is still possible.
Begin today to seek the future you wish to see,
And take action in any small way you can to alleviate the suffering of the world.
Stand strong, be courageous, don’t back down from a new reality.
It is possible to co-create a better world.
To transform the tears for those suffering the unimaginable
Into blessings for us on our forward journey.
As I lay on my back after sitting with the morning,
Sun on my skin and birdsong caressing my soul,
I feel the blue sky fill my veins on the inhale
And the dandelion puff scatters the seeds of truth and knowing
found only in moments of stillness
On the exhale.
Writer Delaney Sky King 