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There is a Sunflower who stands tall, proud, erect

outside my bathroom window.

One of all the rest facing away from the morning sun,

having the sun always at her back for support,

to face me as I awake to my morning practice.

She is there in Goddess form

to bring me a message,

supporting me each day in the first rays of sun.

To stand tall, be me, be proud-

Full of joy, beauty, grace, strength, resilience.

To remember who I am and to stand for me.

To spread joy and sunshine even in the darkest days and hours.

To not allow anyone to steal that joy or destroy my spirit.

And I prayed to her

And to the earth that supports her

To the rainfall that renews her

To the wind that blows to make her stalk stronger and more resilient.

To be in me.

And my movements felt stronger,

My limbs longer.

My feet planted, I felt steadier.

My breath, freer.

More open, free, alive, magnificent-

As a reflection, a part of,

the Sunflower who faces me radiantly to

remind me of my Light.

The stillness of Soul

Space that holds all.

Sitting in meditation as Soul

Connection.

The movement of Spirit, inspiration

Dancing into action.

Creating art, music, change,

Water moving across earth.

Earth always steady

Lovingly holding water.

As Spirit flows, Soul ebbs to allow her shine,

Yet always remains constant.

Soul amazed by Spirit’s grace.

And Spirit emboldened by Soul’s embrace.

Soul and Spirit together, One.

Breathing together in creation and destruction.

Ebbing and flowing in rhythmic harmony.

Ripples glistening on the vast sea that never ends.

Swell and calm, foreground to background.

The pulsation of life,

Divine woman and man breathing as One.

The richness of experiencing and knowing.

Of becoming and being.

Calling in those who have gone before,

Breathing their loving spirits into my heart.

Even though I am here now,

This now and here also contains them.

Somehow through all time and space,

We are still here together.

And this comforts me in knowing that when I am no longer of this body and mind,

I will still be with those I leave behind.

And the spirits we call in are always already here,

So there is no loss.

Everything that is not matter that truly matters

Is here now, with us, in us, of us.

My loved ones come through me now,

Comprising who I am today,

Bestowing everlasting gifts which I too may share.

All we leave behind is always a breath away.

The veil is thin and rustles in the stillness.

Walking down memory lane with letters written by lovers long ago, especially my first true love.

Reminding me how loved and cherished I really was. With a hint of young love obsession. The same pages held by said lover long ago, the penmanship so crafted and the words dripping with dreams of being together forever.

I laugh out loud as I read of growing old and reminiscing about old times together, as I do this now not with you, but walking back down those roads nonetheless. I wonder if you might have a sudden remembrance of me too now, as years are connected by these roads of the heart making me feel so close again.

I laugh more than once, correlating my journals with your notes and our crazy times, experiencing young carefree life together and how our parents grounded us for two days until we snuck out again. They loved us together, though, and couldn’t get mad.

You wrote that we were a popular couple, and we were. We outlasted most of those high school relationships and we had flair. We were uniquely ourselves and not afraid to show it. We were inseparable. We celebrated us.

As I read, it’s hard to believe it really did end. There’s no remorse in this, as that’s just the natural progression of life sometimes. But I struggle to remember when and how it faded and ask myself if the story I’ve always told myself is true or if I imagined it all. At least I can now remember that I didn’t imagine the ferocity with which we loved and shared. And the lessons learned can never be taken away. They have only built a stronger foundation.

Yet it’s time to burn the letters and make space in the garage. There is a space in my heart, though, that won’t be cleared. Always in joy and gratitude will I keep your memory there. Thank you, for a real good time. And for expressing your love so eloquently. I wish you well wherever you may be.

With Love Always,

Knockin’ on the golden door,

Like an angel…..

You brought us all together for some real good times.

The strangest melodies and the sweetest rhymes.

Strangers turned friends turned farm family till the end.

Laughter and smiles the heat couldn’t bust.

Finding ourselves in another Bear hug a must.

Dancin’ on the hillside till the moon went down.

The train off the tracks always comes round.

The music you brought to our hearts never stops.

When we feel confused, we know what you brought.

We’ll listen to it play, coming home to the farm again.

May the four winds blow you safely home, dear friend.

You already know it’s here to stay-

The light in our hearts, the love that you bring-

Will not fade away………